her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize