Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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