I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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