Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
