So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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