What did we do last night that was yellow?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
