If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
