I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
