I hate your face
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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