well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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