I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
