If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There r osticjed everywhere
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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