it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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