New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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