I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
