So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
