in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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