NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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