But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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