at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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