this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
