If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
