Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
