I love black thongs
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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