Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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