Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
