I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
