Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Even my vagina gasped.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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