I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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