Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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