Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
