Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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