i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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