Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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