We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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