is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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