If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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