Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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