are you still at the devil's house?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
