SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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