So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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