I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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