The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
