Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
