____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
