I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
