Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
