I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
