I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize