So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
