I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Nicole vs. Life
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
