guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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