at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
