I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
