how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
