All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize