Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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