I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
