3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
