"it" just moved
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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