can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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